Never in a million years
by Geraco Way
Summary: Draco Malfoy, and Harry Potter...Slash. Yeah, if you know you're against this, don't bother reading it because your pathetic reviews won't do anything but make me laugh.


A/N: Yeah, I was bored one night over a month ago and this happen to come to mind so I wrote it. Now, you're probably going to get your underwear in a twist over it, but I don't care. It's not meant to be serious and I do hope you remember this, it's FANFICTION! FAN (which means written by a FAN. Fan: An ardent devotee; an enthusiast), FICTION (Fiction is the telling of stories which are not entirely based upon facts), do you comprehend now? Oh, and a typo is a mistake made during the typing process. The term includes errors due to mechanical failure or slips of the hand or finger, but excludes errors of ignorance.

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"Dear Harry," appeared on the piece of crisp parchment. Draco stopped to contemplate what should follow. "I love you?" he said aloud. "No, far too pussy-ish." Draco frowned. "I feel deeply for you?" Draco shook his head before dropping his quill on his desk. He sat further back in his chair before he crossed his arms in frustration. "Dear Harry, I want to fuck you." Draco snorted as the words came out of his mouth. Draco rolled his eyes and sat in a stewy silence. "I give up," he roared loudly. Draco leaned forward resting his arms on his desk. Draco couldn't understand why telling his sworn enemy that he had an ass crush on him was so hard. He really couldn't. The feelings taunted him day in and day out for about a year now. Draco gave his icy blue eyes a roll before reaching for a cigarette. A nasty habit, he had to admit, but it was a calming one. Draco inhaled deeply before looking back down at his sheet of paper. "Dearest Harry," he mocked. "I have a crush on you." He sneered before his face resorted into the miserable look it has beheld for the last week.

Harry and Draco had met by accident a week ago. Draco, who could easily pretend that he didn't have a crush on Harry, was gobsmacked to see him shopping in Diagon Alley. Draco tried not to let it be known that his hatred for Harry had disappeared. Not over night of course. After the death of Lucius Malfoy Draco stopped telling himself that his feelings were wrong. Sure it was weird. But as Draco sat there and thought about it, he and Harry had always had pent up sexual tension. What sent Draco over the edge that day one week ago was the fact the Harry winked at him. I wasn't like "One day I'll kill you, you putrid pureblood." It was more of a "I'm yours anytime, baby." Just thinking about the two of them together. Their naked bodies pressed against each other was enough to send him into the nearest wall. "If there's a God, strike me down now," Draco moaned after stubbing out his cigarette. "Dear Harry," Draco mumbled again. "It was a pleasure running into you last week. I'm eager to speak with you. I'd be delighted if you could join me for tea at your earliest convenience," Draco jotted out. "Stuck up cow." He laughed at himself as he reread his short letter. "Yours respectfully, Draco Malfoy."

Harry couldn't even begin to display his utter confusion as he read over the letter. "What's that look for?"' Ron asked, staring at him curiously from the other side of the table.

"It's a letter from," he paused, "Draco Malfoy," he stated slowly. Ron's eyes narrowed as Draco's name floated into the air.

"That just ruined my morning tea," Ron interjected. Harry looked up from his letter to find Ron with a look of utter disgust on his face.

"Jeez, Ron." Harry laughed. Harry, Ron and Draco had been done with school for a few years now. It still amazed Harry that they all still held grudges against each other. "You know what?" Harry asked.

"Hmm?" Ron moaned as he raised his brows.

"I don't even remember seeing Malfoy." He gave a slight chuckle.

"Let me see that," Ron said as he reached for the latter. Harry was caught off guard by Ron's large hand.

"Christ, Ron," Harry said giving it up.

"Blimey, he writes like a dick." Ron grimaced. Harry rolled his eyes and Ron handed the letter back. A few hours later the shock had worn off, Harry found himself sitting in the empty Weasley kitchen composing a note to Malfoy.

"Dear Mal-" Harry stopped. "Dear Draco, I cant even lie to you. I was very surprised to receive a letter from you. And, forgive me, but I don't remember running into you."

"Oh, you stupid sod," Draco growled at himself. "Why would he know it was you?" he yelled at himself as he caught his reflection in the mirror. Since the last time him and Harry had really spoken to each other Draco had changed drastically in appearance. He was an inch or two taller, about thirty pounds heavier, and ditched the Malfoy blonde hair. "Dear Harry." Draco laughed. "I didn't expect you to recognize me but I assure you it was me. Do you perhaps recall seeing a plump brunette?"''

As Harry read Draco's letter he hurriedly searched his mind. He did indeed remember seeing a person befitting that description. "Oh, I'm a ho. I winked at him." Harry blushed. "Dear Draco, holy hell, man. What happened to you? (I mean that in a good way.) P.S. I'd be delighted to have tea with you. Name the time and place and I'm there. Tootles, Harry."

As Draco read the last line he couldn't help but to squeal. He was thankful no one was around to hear his giddiness. Draco thought as he walked to his desk. "When and where?" He asked himself as he tapped the letter on his thumb. "When and where?" He didn't think Harry would come here so he knew his manor was out of the question.

Three days later:

Draco was eagerly awaiting Harry's arrival. He nervously checked his watch every thirty two sixty seconds. He smiled widely as he saw Harry. Harry was too busy paying the cabbie and stomping out his cigarette to notice Draco watching him from the restaurant window. Harry stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Draco. Draco smiled at him when he picked up his stride.

"Draco," Harry said, awed.

"Harry," Draco laughed.

"Can I get you anything?" the waiter asked.

"Beer, please." Harry laughed nervously. When the waiter had left Harry turned back to Draco. "You looked so different." Harry smiled.

"I know. I just didn't feel like being associated with the Malfoys anymore."

"I can understand that."

"Was I that awful?" Draco laughed.

"Not awful. Just... Wow, I don't think there's even a word for it. Git, ass, fucker... Nope. Can't think of one."

"Cheeky." Draco smirked. He rolled his eyes. "Trust me, Harry. I know I was an awful troll, a beast, bastard. And anything else you could think to call me. I've come to terms with who I was and I've moved on."

Harry couldn't help but smile. "Well, here's to the new Malfoy. Or to Draco." Harry laughed as he raised his glass of beer.

"Thanks." Draco laughed as he took a sip of his red wine. For the next three hours Harry and Draco talked about everything. Their lives now ad even their old school days.

"What a wanker you were." Harry laughed. He was a wee bit tipsy.

"Like you were nice all the time. Refusing my hand," Draco said. His cheeks were red from embarrassment and from being slightly drunk himself.

"Oh, whatever. Like I knew what you'd been doing with it." Harry laughed while giving an obscene hand gesture.

"Oi, didn't you know Crabbe and Goyle did that for me? Masturbation is undignified so Malfoys don't do it." Draco laughed. "But we have no qualms about letting out buddies do it." Both Draco and Harry laughed.

"My word. Why couldn't be this cool in school?" Harry laughed.

"Constant PMT." Draco laughed. Harry smiled before he joined in. "So, you wanna come back to mine for a drink?" Draco asked.

"Sure. The Weasleys aren't expecting me back. They think you're going to kill me." Harry laughed.

"I would never. You saved my life." Draco smiled.

Both Harry and Draco decided to skip a cab home. Since it was almost midnight Harry and Draco figured it would be okay to Apparate to the Malfoy Manor. "Come on in, buddy. Make yourself at home," Draco said as he led Harry into his office.

"Wow," Harry said looking around the packed space.

"What?" Draco asked as he poured him and Harry a drink.

"This place," Harry said in awe. Draco looked up from the two glasses. "Hermione would be in heaven in here," he said as he ran his hand along a stack of books."

"Hermione. How is the old girl?" Draco questioned as he handed Harry his drink. He'd just realized that she hadn't come up in previous conversation.

"She's well, I suppose. Her and Ron are on the outs again. Nothing new." Harry finished with a wide-eyed expression.

"Those two." Draco laughed.

"I know," Harry said with a roll of his eyes. "They were supposed to be getting married, but I don't think that's going to happen anytime soon."

"If she's smart, it never will." Harry laughed lightly at Draco's joke.

A few drinks later Harry and Draco were in the sitting room laughing hysterically. "You know, Harry, I've had the biggest crush on you for over a year now." Draco laughed.

"Have you seriously?" Harry laughed, unintentionally.

"Yes," Draco said in the best serious tone he could muster.

"Well, darling," Harry flirted. "Come and get you some." Draco didn't know if Harry was being serious but he decided not to pass up this opportunity. Draco was enthralled when Harry didn't push him away. He instead pulled him closer.

Draco finally broke their kiss. "So you wanna... You know?" Draco asked.

"Draco, shut up and kiss me," Harry barked as he pulled him closer. Draco and Harry rolled around on the floor while they kissed. When they bumped into the sofa they broke apart. Draco, who happened to be on top, decided to take his shirt off. Harry smirked softly as Draco's pale pudge popped out from his top. Harry licked his lips and ran his arm up his chest. Draco took Harry's left wrist and pulled him into a sitting position. He kissed his lips gently as he pulled at the sides of Harry's shirt. Harry laughed as Draco yanked it over his head. Before either of them knew it they were naked and exploring each other's bodies. Harry was down between Draco's legs. Draco was holding himself up. His head dropped between his shoulders as he moaned loudly. It was nights like this he was glad he lived alone.

Never in a million years did he think he'd be receiving oral pleasure from Harry Potter. He was sure Harry thought he'd never be sucking off a Malfoy.

After some much needed reciprocation, Draco thrusted lightly into Harry. Harry moaned and grabbed a fist full of Draco's hair and pulled it. "Harder," was all he said. Draco, never being one to disappoint, did exactly what Harry wanted. Draco thrusted into Harry until both of them came. "More, more, more," Harry whined.

Draco smiled at Harry, caught his breath, and gave him just that. After the fourth time Harry had finally got enough. He was now entering Draco. Draco's anxious face quickly turned into discomfort. It took Harry only one second to figure out this was Draco's first time. Harry smiled and kissed him gingerly on the lips.

A few hours later Harry found himself on a couch. He sat up and looked around. He didn't remember where he was until he saw the slumbering Draco on the chair. "Oh, shit," he mouthed. Suddenly the events from the night before flooded his memory. Harry mentally kicked himself for letting himself get drunk and sleep with Draco. Harry quickly picked up his clothes and roamed out into the hall. Harry hurriedly pulled his clothes on and got the hell out of dodge.

Harry arrived back at the Weasley home (where he was spending his summer). Every Weasley happened to of been sitting around the table as he walked in the back door. Everyone was elated to see him. He was slightly mortified to see them. "Harry, where have you been?" Mrs. Weasley yelled as she took him in her arms. All Harry could do was laugh nervously.

A/N: Yeah, get over my damn typos and mistakes, I'm not perfect and I don't have to be. Sheesh people, you take every thing way TOO seriously.


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